To Present Date

Well, I figured I would give the world an update on life since I have not in so long. Our wait for a heart never came through. The Hospital removed him from the list back in 2010, somewhere around that timeframe. We were told that we could locate another facility to take him on as a patient, however never offered a hand in helping me find a facility. I called Hospital after Hospital and transplant departments. FINALLY!! We got the call for UAB to see him as a patient, to see if they could help. We then spent the next several months going back and forth to Birmingham, that is just made sence to move there. Time went on and they said they would not place him on the Transplant list, however would consider a LVAD. Awesome! What the heck is a LVAD? What do we do with this thing, and what do we have to do to get one. Well, a LVAD is a Left Ventricilar Assisted Device. It basically contols the whole left side of the heart. Rod's health was becoming worse each day as we moved on, and UAB said there is really nothing else they can do, since his right heart was as bad as the left. So, what to do now? We did get help from the Doctors at UAB, and they connected us to a hospital in NYC, which his insurance would not cover, and then got a call that Vanderbuilt would see him, well, they had already denied us once, when I sent the records to them, so I really had no faith in them either. On March 20, our 9th Anniversary, I brought my husband home from the hospital, and then I had to rush off to work. I got him his favorite nuts that day, Macadamia Nuts. Then off to work. I was working part time at Olive Garden. I had a table run late that night, so I did not get home until 11:15 that night. I was going to run to Walmart on my way home, but I called home instead. The girls told me daddy was breathing funny. They had never heard this type of breathing before, so I rushed home to take care of him. When I got home, he had a red towel around his neck. I picked it up jokingly, and said what is this? He said he was sick, and passed out. His lips began to turn blue, so Sariah called 911. The Paramedics tried to get a heart beat and there was none. They began doing CPR on him, because the machine told them not to defibulate him. They took him to the ambulance, all just before midnight, we got to the ER before him, they took us into the room. The one where they tell you your loved one has passed away. I knew why I was in that room, I do not know if Sariah or Eveyaunce really knew, we never have really spoken about that night in such detail. We all grieve differently. Even though I know when he passed away, the certificate they gave me has March 21st on it. He was gone before midnight, on our anniversary, so forever will the First day of Spring have a new meaning for me and our family. Life has not been easy since then, life had to keep moving on. I go lost for a while, maybe I still am a little lost, who knows. I still keep putting one foot in front of the other, and will do so, until the day I die.

Waiting for a Heart

In October 2009, my husband received the news that his name was to be added to the Heart Transplant list. Excited, scared, nervous were among the feelings racing in my head and heart at the moment. There were some guidelines which must be met during this task of our lives.

He had to lose weight. He currently weighed 287 pounds. How on earth can he get down to the 250 which was required to get him a heart? We had test after test to go through, blood work, meeting with a psychologist (who in my opinion was a quack - and I still do not agree with, but he was only one element to the approval process), then the board met to discuss his options.

We got the announcement that we are on the list. YEAH! Now what?

Well, for one, I was not confident in the Cardiologist which we were currently seeing. Thanks for friends who are nurses and can give personal doctor opinions and knew who we should go to. (I do not think this friend knew we were on the Transplant List.) So, we jumped to the new Cardiologist. He was not only a Cardiologist, but an all around great doctor. He put it down on paper HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT, without being 100% active, since my husband does not have the energy to do full blown exercise. Miracles DO happen! We got down to 239 pounds. YEAH! The excitement in my husband voice and mind. We bought bicycles and were able to do some biking. We spent time together doing these things. Still maintaining the medication therapy and all. Still working for the most part.

To date, we are not able to go riding our bicycles, he can not go without extreme pain. Since November, he has gained a lot of fluid weight and can not get rid of it. He is in constant mental anguish with why is he not able to knock this bloated feeling?

So many thoughts on the mind, so many questions! I know my husband does not really weigh 260 pounds today, I know it is fluid built up on the heart. Last week, we went to the hospital and had an x~ray done, his heart is currently the size of a basketball.

Please Lord, hear our prayers, hear my friends prayers, allow me to feel comfort knowing that you will protect my family. I know you are an awesome God, and that I must endure pain to grow, but I really am worried and scared and unsure at this very moment. Give me a sign that you are here, and that my husband is worth every ounce of energy I put into him! I am grasping for air as I hold onto the positive that I know is here. But where o where is it?

Kids are also feeling stress from not having me home a lot, since I am between home and hospital. I try to spend valuable time between both places, giving nurturing love to all in the family. Church has been great in helping where they can, bringing over meals, helping clean, watching my girls, you name it, they are helping me with it. Thank you ladies, because your love is showing me the peace and Spirit of the Lord, which I need right now!

Things are looking better, today. His doctor called in a prescription to help release some fluids. I was told that if this does not work, then we are back in the hospital, once again. It is time for another Right Heart Catheter done. This is done every 6 months, to calculate any changes in the heart disease. After talking with the transplant team, they indicated that the heart valves leaking fluids indicate the disease taking its toll on the heart, and it is very possible that we are in more dire need to receive a heart.